Co-Creating Through Dialog
September 3, 2009
Co-Creating - Moving from Protecting to Partnering
When facing a conflict, we typically have two reactions: fight or flight. Before we know or ask what is true or real, we create a story, jump to conclusions and we assume we know what the other person is thinking, feeling, or doing - and it's usually not good! That perceived threat triggers a natural reaction to protect and guard ourselves physically and emotionally.
The ability to co-create with others through conversation is crucial to successful leadership and team collaboration. When we say “co-create” here’s what we mean:
- Prepare Yourself - Gain clarity about your intentions for a positive outcome. If necessary, write out a script or rehearse with a trusted advisor or friend.
- Build Rapport - Use co-creating language to set the stage for the conversation by inviting the other person to “help you understand how we can … (fill in the blank)”.
- Share and Discover – Seek to understand the other person’s perspective Share your story with candor and caring instead of criticism.
- Be Innovative - Ask “what if” questions. Listen more and talk less.
- Get Commitment – Once you agree, seek commitment about what you will do in the future.
- Clarify Next Steps – Review your agreements and plan your next steps.
In the abstract, these principles for co-creating conversation may seem simple, but putting them into practice may be challenging, especially when emotions run high.
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